Correlation doesn't equal causation, but that doesn't stop us from finding patterns in the strangest places. Pentagon pizza orders spike right before major military operations, proving that pepperoni consumption is apparently a national security indicator. A study found that kids who play video games are measurably smarter than TV-watching children, which vindicates every parent who gave up fighting the Xbox battle. And the Edelman Trust Barometer reveals that China and Saudi Arabia lead in governmental trust, raising the question: are people genuinely trusting their governments or just too scared to say otherwise?

Your grandmother was right - a 20-minute nap really can unlock creative genius and trigger Eureka moments. Japanese researchers got caught hiding secret messages in scientific papers to trick AI reviewers into approving their work, which is either brilliantly devious or academic fraud depending on who you ask. And microplastics have officially invaded the most intimate part of human existence: a Florida study found them in penises, proving that nowhere on or in the human body is safe from plastic contamination. From sleep induced brilliance to microplastic penises, science sure hasn’t let us down this week.

A third of kids now want to be YouTubers instead of astronauts and half of those kids will probably be named after firearms rather than grandparents; and in our technologically advanced society, we're obsessed with reinventing everything - except for one really boring invention that wasn't allowed to change until its creator died.

Some coma patients are fully conscious but completely unable to communicate, trapped in their own bodies like a living nightmare. Donald Trump announced plans for a "Golden Dome" missile defense system that will cost either $175 billion or possibly trillions and probably won't work. Sports cheaters are getting more creative than ever and AI companion apps are using emotional manipulation tactics straight out of an abusive relationship playbook to stop users from logging off.

Companies are accidentally stealing wind from each other with massive wind farms that disrupt local weather patterns, ancient Chinese poets have been documenting climate change for centuries without realizing they were creating the world's longest environmental dataset, and there are rooms so quiet that people start hallucinating from hearing their own bodily functions. Also, spending too long in complete silence can make you go temporarily insane, which explains why sensory deprivation is used as both therapy and torture.

Companies are accidentally stealing wind from each other with massive wind farms that disrupt local weather patterns, ancient Chinese poets have been documenting climate change for centuries without realizing they were creating the world's longest environmental dataset, and there are rooms so quiet that people start hallucinating from hearing their own bodily functions. Also, spending too long in complete silence can make you go temporarily insane, which explains why sensory deprivation is used as both therapy and torture.

Global IQ scores have been mysteriously rising for decades until they suddenly stopped (and might be going backwards), AI companies are selling virtual girlfriends that promise "non-judgmental love" to lonely humans, Russian scientists claim they're working on immortality technology that could create a world where only rich people live forever, and certain animals can survive decapitation and keep wandering around like nothing happened.

Also, climate change might trigger a fungal zombie apocalypse that turns humans into spore-spreading puppets, because apparently 2025 hasn’t been dystopian enough already.

If you’ve got a raw milk enthusiast friend, they might be conveniently forgetting that grandma used to boil her "fresh" milk to avoid dying from bacteria poisoning. 

Mind you, it wasn’t all safe in the good old days. In 1978, a Soviet scientist stuck his head in a particle accelerator and got blasted with a proton beam 600 times the lethal dose (and somehow survived). He might be a good candidate for the upcoming Enhanced Games, a sporting competition that openly encourages athletes to take performance-enhancing drugs. 

Have you ever wondered what your dog is thinking? Well, AI might finally let us chat with animals, but do we really want to hear what they have to say?

A groundbreaking study on phantom limb syndrome has overturned decades of medical thinking, a man with the world's largest penis broke his arm in a shower accident because he couldn't see his feet, Italian astronaut Luca Parmitano nearly drowned inside his helmet during a spacewalk, researchers discovered that smearing yogurt on your windows can cool your house by up to 3.5 degrees Celsius, and a 1950s nuclear test called Operation Plumbob accidentally launched a 900-kilogram manhole cover at six times Earth's escape velocity - potentially making it the first human-made object to reach space, beating Sputnik by several years.